The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
