i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
