If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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