my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
