This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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