You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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