I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
