If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We need to rekindle our bromance
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
