Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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