i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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