Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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