You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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