we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
