please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize