I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So vagazzling was a success
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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