It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
