I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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