Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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