hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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