she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
