Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Houston, we have a blender
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
