walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
