Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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