I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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