My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
