I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
