But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
