How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
