Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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