If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I will pee on everything he values.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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