So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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