the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
