i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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