hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
