I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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