those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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