Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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