Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
