too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
