Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
