I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
