biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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