i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dating After Heartbreak
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina