So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You pole danced in your parka.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips