am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
