she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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