im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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