**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
