He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize