carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
