when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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