its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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