she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
