Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize