I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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