hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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