there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
