I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
