you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
