You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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