Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize