My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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