What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
